


Thinking about Us

by ValkyrieShepard



Series: Let's get out of here you bastard [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-11
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 22:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4979548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValkyrieShepard/pseuds/ValkyrieShepard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vax watches his boyfriend sleep, and remembers how exactly they got here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking about Us

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this from an anon prompt (more always welcome at my tumblr(valkyrieshepard)), and set sometime after the Briarwoods have been dealt with (hopefully with no one dying :D)

Vax loved watching Percy sleep. Whether it was in his own bed or his boyfriend's, watching him completely peaceful, that big brain of his for once not going a million miles per hour, instilled a sense of happiness in him he hadn't quite known before.

Of course the fact that Percy was naked, and the sheets were barely covering his hips helped immensely. Vax grinned as he softly brushed over his boyfriend's freckled torso, over his abs and then tracing his arm, shoulder, until he had reached his face. He tried to stifle his laughter as he found yet more traces of dirt, or blackpowder, Vax wasn't sure. And that even after they had taken a bath together. This man was truly a magical dirt magnet, and yet he always smelled so lovely...

At least Vax had managed to get Percy to slow down a little, to not work himself to exhaustion as he used to do. Most times that involved taking off his clothes, or Percy's... there was generally a lot of clothing removal involved. But it did the trick, and got them both very, very relaxed.

He hesitated to remove the speck of dirt on his boyfriend's cheek. For one, he didn't want to take Percy up, and suddenly he was reminded of how they had first met, and how they'd gotten here.

As opposed to the little smudge on his cheek, Percy had been covered in dirt and grime when they had found him in that prison cell. And yet there had still been that aura of... pride, of nobility, and that fire in his eyes, even under all that pain and exhaustion.

Despite not knowing him, even back then, he couldn't imagine him a criminal. And perhaps... perhaps it had all started back in that prison. Vax had certainly been taken aback by how damn polite Percy was. In his place Vax would have forgotten all manners, would have dribbled the water they'd given him over his chin and front but not Percy. He was still damn graceful as he drank, only wetted his hand to clean his face a little before they moved on.

He'd been quiet, understandably so, and Vax found himself watching him, impressed with his skill, his inventions, his determination even after having been hurt and left to rot. In the evening he had sat by his side, offering him rations. For one entire second Percy had literally shoved the food into his mouth, before he apparently remembered who he was, and slowed down again.

"I apologize", he had said, glancing in his direction.

"No need", he had replied, watching him eat. "I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Vax... not to be confused with my sister Vex."

"That... is confusing indeed. Erm...", Percy had stopped eating, straightened himself and faced him. "I am Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III."

"You know... I think we'll just call you Percy."

And right there and then, had been the first time he'd seen Percy smile. Beneath all that dirt and pain and sadness, was a gorgeous man, capable of so much kindness and love. Of course back then Vax hadn't known. He'd only known that Percy was handsome, startlingly so, and that he was curious to see him cleaned up.

"If it helps, I'm Vax'ildan, and she's Vex'ahlia", he had told him. "Though I don't particularly like being called that, it always sounds like someone is mad at me."

"It does help, I will try my best not to mix you up." It almost looked like Percy was saying those names over and over in his head, trying to commit them to memory.

"Don't worry if you do, it happens to everyone. The amount of times I've been called my sister's name in bed..." Vax trailed off, shuddering exaggeratedly at the thought.

Percy on the other hand had blushed, his cheeks now a deep red. Vax had been very, very glad he had made him blush that day, the image staying with him for weeks.

Vax had indeed been speechless when he had seen Percy cleaned up a little while later. He'd gotten himself new clothes that definitely confirmed Vax's suspicions that he was of noble decent. But more so than his clothes, it was the way he held himself that confirmed it. Sanding straight, he was about a head taller than Vax, that pride he'd seen in him earlier showed even more and yet... Percy may have had to look down to face Vax, but he never actually looked down on him, or almost anyone really. And deep under that mask of civility Vax could see he was deeply hurt. He hadn't been the cuddly type, but something about Percy had made him want to hold him, and tell him it would be okay. Instead he had made a quip about looking very charming, slapped Percy's shoulder, and left.

The attraction had definitely been there first, almost immediately, Vax had to admit. But it quickly became clear that Percy would not just be a temporary member of their group. If they started anything and it went south, it would affect the whole group and he didn't want to be responsible for that just because he was horny and couldn't keep it in his pants. Not to mention that his sister would be furious with him. Percy was a valued addition to the group, and was quickly becoming a good friend to everyone. Nevertheless it wasn't easy at first, not after he realized just how attracted he was to him.

Vax couldn't even remember what exactly they'd been doing in that forest, some quest or contract, in any case they had mostly needed to rely on his sister to find their way through. They'd been out in the deep, depressing forest for days, the roof of it so thick that almost no sunlight came through, and Vax felt oddly depressed. Despite the fresh forest air, it felt like he couldn't breathe.

So he made his way away from their campsite, walking towards what he thought might be a small river running through the forest. He needed some time alone as well, feeling a little exhausted from constantly being around his friends. He loved them dearly, though he might not say it out loud, but nevertheless he always appreciated having his space every once in a while.

He heard the stream before he saw it, and if he knew more about these things he might have realized the splashing sound was not caused by water against rocks, but indeed by a person. His steps slowed when he saw who it was: Percy was kneeling on the riverbed, his jacket and shirt carefully folded and placed on a rock, away from the water. Vax watched him lean forward, push his hands underwater and keeping them that way for a while, a slight shudder running through him. When he splashed his face with the cold river water it dribbled down his chin, and his front. As he leaned back, his eyes closed, a few rays of the sun that made it through the thick forest roof hit him, illuminating his face and reflecting off the droplets of water still on his chest. Vax knew Percy wasn't a magic user, but this image might have convinced him otherwise... it was an otherworldly picture that he presented, and Vax took in a sharp breath, his body suddenly feeling strangely tingly and warm.

Unfortunately that had alerted Percy to his presence, and he quickly stood, wiping off the dirt from his knees, trying to use the back of his hands to get rid of some of the drops of water on his forehead. He was blushing again, and now Vax got a good look of his entire body, surprised that he was very well muscled. Not like Grog, who could kill a man with his pinky, but well toned abs, strong arms that suited his body type. Vax couldn't stop staring, taking in the image before him until Percy cleared his throat.

"I am  _so  _sorry", Vax said, still somehow not managing to actually look at his friend's face.

"Vax...", his voice was quiet, and when he finally managed to look up again, he saw that Percy was completely crimson now, the blush even spreading to his chest. "Did you.... Would you like to freshen up as well?"

"Sure, why not." He shrugged and stepped closer, mirroring Percy's position from earlier and kneeling down, before tossing aside his cloak and shirt, much less elegantly than his friend had done before. "You don't have to leave, you know. I assume you'll have to dry off before you can put on your clothes again."

He gave Percy a smirk, who stopped in his tracks, evidently not quite able to decide whether he wanted to stay or not. Vax did notice the odd little glance he gave him, down to his torso before flicking back up to the trees, or something else he could focus on. Vax knew he was attractive, and knew how to use it. Evidently Percy thought the same thing, and once more he was so, so tempted to do something about this attraction.

But his worries stayed, and so he didn't do more than the occasional teasing that was really just that. He liked making Percy blush, and over time he returned his smiles, shy at first, but as their friendship grew, so did his confidence when Vax teased him.

There were still a few lonely nights when Vax's mind wandered, when he was alone in his bed and horny, thinking about that view Percy had presented in the forest. Thankfully he wasn't a person that was easily ashamed of what he did, or he might not have been able to look his friend in the eye after jerking off to the thought of riding him. Oddly enough, the more he got to know him, the more he realized that perhaps he felt a little more than just friendship, and those fantasies seemed to lessen.

Percy was.... kind to him, always so polite and he was...  _brilliant_. It was fascinating to watch him tinker with whatever he could get his hands on, not to mention the guns he had created, such powerful tools at his disposal. Percy was lost in his own mind whenever he worked, giving Vax the opportunity to blatantly stare, though he did this only when he was sure no one else was around.

"Vax."

"Hm? Oh..." Vax had been taken aback, because usually Percy didn't even know he was there, as he tended to keep his distance as well. Although he noticed that today that had not been the case. Today, after Percy had been with them for months, he found himself inches away from whatever Percy was holding. It seemed he had apparently been too curious for his own good.

"Would you like to watch?", Percy had asked with a faint blush in his cheeks.

"I would. It's fascinating."

Vax noticed that there was a slight tremor in Percy's hands as he kept working, but it passed as time moved on. Perhaps no one had watched him do this before, but he found it incredible. His friend had been working on... he couldn't quite tell. There were wires, shaped vaguely like a hand, connecting in different ways but all of them leading to the centre where a hole could perhaps fit a small gem.

"Could you pass me more wires?", Percy had asked, absentmindedly, holding out his hand. Vax hadn't been quite sure what to do, so he did as he was told, scrambling for them to place them in his friend's hand. He felt oddly proud for having helped him, as Percy didn't even look at him before he kept working, which evidently meant he had done well.

They had stayed like that for a while, Vax helping him tinker with the wire-glove, though in the end Percy hadn't been happy with it. They'd sat side by side, grinning at each other, the silence between them anything but awkward. It had surprised Vax, how quickly they had grown to like each other, and it was a new experience for him to be attracted to someone as well as like them. All his previous encounters had mostly been the former, and none of them had lasted longer than a night or two. But now... over the course of the next few months the affection he felt for Percy only grew, but what struck him the most was how at ease he felt with him. He could be just Vax around him, not feeling the need to pretend that he was better than he really was, and it made him relax around Percy, something not many people managed.

The day he had helped him tinker, he had invited Percy out for a drink, questioning him about all his inventions. They'd talked well into the early morning hours, both getting tipsy and perhaps a little flirty after a while. Thinking back, Vax thought he had been incredibly obvious with his compliments about Percy's brilliance, and his good looks, but thankfully his friend had been more than a little oblivious. Then again, "thankfully" wasn't the right word. Vax should have done something sooner...

The first time that thought popped into his mind was in the Underdark. It crept up on him slowly, as they had been down there for days, running from one life threatening situation to another, and had finally taken a hold of him during the fight against K'varn.

Vax had thought that he could never again be this scared in his life, the fear almost paralyzing him in the fight against the Beholder. It wasn't so much the thought of this thing getting to the surface and plunging it into chaos that kept him fighting, it was the thought of his friends, his chosen family dying that did it. There had been too many close calls in that fight, each one sending another rush of fear and adrenaline through him. He was grateful that at least not all of them were down there fighting it, at least Percy was up there where he could fight best, with his Bad News, even saving Scanlan from their traitorous Mindflayer.

He had praised his quick reflexes when he managed to dodge the beam of  _whatever the fuck that was_  just in time. It wasn't enough to make his life flash before his eyes, but it was enough to make him think of Percy. He had scolded himself mentally for it, that he was this affected by his friend, distracting him in the middle of a dangerous fight. He had always though himself above such things and yet it had happened. That really should have been the first hint that he had fallen hopelessly for Percy, but he had always been good at denying things that scared him. And being in love, that was almost as scary as fighting a Beholder, because it meant he was vulnerable.

All of them were, that day, even after they had finally slain the giant...  _thing_. There was no time to rest though, and as Vax glanced at Percy on the flying carpet, just waiting for him and the others, some part of his brain must have suddenly shut off. Elated by the thought of getting out of here, he had raced towards the carpet and jumped onto it. In the midst of the chaos, all he had been able to see was Percy right in front of him, a sheen of sweat on his forehead, a look of worry directed towards him, hand still gripping Bad News tightly. So he had leaned forward, not hesitating and risking that his brain kicked back in and stopped him, to press a kiss to Percy's cheek. It hadn't been the quick peck he had intended it to be, he had let the kiss linger and hesitated when he pulled away, his breath tickling his friend's cheek for a moment.

When he finally really pulled away, he broke out into a huge grin at the confused expression on Percy's face, suddenly he just knew they'd get out of here, that they would be okay. Percy gripped his arm with his free hand, fingers curling in the fabric of his cloak. It looked like he was about to say something, like his brain was going a million miles per hour and yet couldn't form a single thought.

"A-are you okay?", Percy stammered, and Vax nodded.

"Let's get out of here you bastard."

His smile infected Percy, before the crashes of the Illithid breaking into the temple reminded them that they still had a way to go before they were safe. In the end they were safe, however, and once the adrenaline had worn off, once they were safe in their beds, Vax deluded himself into thinking that there was still time. That there was no rush to ruin their friendship and enter in a relationship he didn't know he could handle. If Percy even felt the same way... He really had no way of knowing.

He had argued with himself back and forth, whether there had been indications for Percy caring for him in the same way, whether that look he'd given him in the Underdark meant anything, whether any of his touches did... In the end he decided to wait, to not do anything, as there were more pressing matters anyway.

It had taken another near death experience to finally make him act. This time, however, it had been different. Not that he had done something stupid, he was known for that, but he hadn't been able to dodge his death this time, he had embraced it, albeit for merely a moment. A moment that seemed like forever. The pain in his neck and shoulder, his entire body had faded away as he felt his body convulsing from a spell. He hadn't seen who had cast it, and it barely mattered to his half conscious mind.

Vax had never experienced this floating feeling before. He could still see that his hands were touching the grass, but he couldn't feel it. There wasn't any pain, but there wasn't any other feeling either, it only seemed like everything was happening slower than it usually did, as if someone had cast a spell on the entire area.

He saw them all, then, right there, walking past him. His family. Trees formed before his eyes, and Keyleth walking under them, fading as his sister appeared, followed by Trinket, tracking an unknown quarry together. But they faded as well, followed by Grog and Pike, walking together, chatting, the Goliath adjusting his steps so the gnome would not need to run to catch up, followed by Scanlan humming a tune absentmindedly as he tended to do. Tiberius was walking alone, breathing fire to shape it into burning butterflies, and briefly, all of Vox Machina appeared, smiling at this little trick, and then they were all gone.

Except Percy.

Percy turned to look at him, as if these shapes were actually real and not figments of his dying mind. He kept walking closer to him, kneeling right in front of him, and when he placed his hand on Vax's cheek, he could almost... he could almost feel it.

Through his almost closed eyes he could see him smile. Could see him tinker with that concentrated expression, could see that face he made when he was proud of a one liner, or the blush that crept into his cheeks when Vax flirted with him.

His last thought had been that he was stupid. Stupid for not doing anything, stupid for refusing to acknowledge that he was in love, and so, so stupid for thinking that it was a bad thing to be.

Vax was pulled from these thoughts when Percy stirred in their bed, the sheets slipping even lower on his hips. He took them and pulled them up again, leaving his hand to rest on his boyfriend's ass, although above the sheets. Slowly Percy blinked his eyes open, needing a few moments to focus on Vax. Just like every day when they shared one bed, they instinctively leaned in to kiss. A kiss that lingered, one that Vax deepened, thinking about all that could have gone wrong.

"Hmm, what was that for?", Percy mumbled against his lips.

"Just... thinking about you. Us. How stupid I was, and how much I love you."

"Sounds like you should stop thinking", he said, a smile slowly spreading on his face. "And start using that hand that's on my behind."

"Percival Fredrickstein Von Musel Klossowski De Rolo III, I really like the way you think..."

"That's Percy to you", he replied, just before rolling Vax onto his back, and starting their morning very, very relaxed.


End file.
